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Poster: SomeDarkHollow Date: Apr 13, 2011 9:00am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Into the void...

Let's not forget the best my home state has to offer: Senator John Kyl and his remark about 90% of Planned Parenthood's activities being abortions (which, in reality is closer to 3%). Stephen Colbert remarked perfectly:

When the actual figure turned out to be 3%, his office released a statement clarifying that Kyl's figure was "not intended to be a factual statement."

Colbert, tweeting as @StephenAtHome, began posting some not-so-factual statements about Kyl, beginning with
"Jon Kyl is one of Gaddafi's sexy female ninja guards #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement."
Since then, he's launched more than 30 such broadsides, all bearing that exculpatory hashtag, including:

Jon Kyl is an accomplished nude hula dancer. He is not welcome in Hawaii.
For the past 10 years, Jon Kyl has been two children in a very convincing Jon Kyl suit.
Jon Kyl cheated on Sandra Bullock.
Once a year, Jon Kyl retreats to the Arizona desert and deposits 2 million egg sacs under the sand.
Citing religious reasons, Jon Kyl refuses to utter the number 8.
Jon Kyl once ate a badger he hit with his car.
Carly Simon wrote that song about Jon Kyl.
Legally, Jon Kyl cannot be within 100 yards of Helen Mirren.
Jon Kyl has a shrine to Scooter from the Muppet Show.
Jon Kyl developed his own line of hair care products just so he could test them on bunnies.
Jon Kyl was sent from the future to kill Sarah Conner.

Face it, both sides of the aisle are only concerned with playing to their base in order to win the next election. I personally like the recent idea of forcing all potential voters to pass a basic government test in order to vote. Hell, we make folks take a driving test before giving them a license, why not do the same with voting?

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Poster: ringolevio Date: Apr 13, 2011 12:15pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Into the void...

These are cracking me up, especially:

>Once a year, Jon Kyl retreats to the Arizona desert and deposits 2 million egg sacs under the sand.

I have to admit I'm leaning towards not voting myself - will there be anyone running who isn't a major disappointment or just a vile idiot?

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Poster: AltheaRose Date: Apr 13, 2011 8:03pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Into the void...

Hey, those are enough to make me want to do twitter. (Not that I actually would. It involves technology.)

My solution to deadlock: just slice up districts like a big sheet cake. No more partisan jerrymandering. "What?!? To get elected I'd actually have to deal with lots of different people and not just My Favorite Flavor? But but but ... then it wouldn't just be about ranting and hating on the other side ... whatever would I do?!?"

OK, off the soap box now.

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Poster: ducats Date: Apr 13, 2011 2:42pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Into the void...

i figured he meant 90% of abortions were performed by pp-and was surprised when his people didn't release a statement saying such - i agree there statement was one of the most ridiculous ever put out